Chatterbox. Motormouth. Mouth of the south. Just a few names have been used to describe me over the years. Ever since I can remember, I've just felt the indefatigable need to talk. Not necessarily about anything in particular. Something in my brain hates silence. It comes & goes from minute to minute, hour to hour. It actually just becomes a completely uncontrollable urge to speak. Weird.
And its not all the time either. Sometimes, I want to just sit there and not talk....just be in silence. Then when other people talk, it drives me NUTS.
People have asked me if it was that difficult to just be quiet. well...YES. yes it is. Sometimes anyway. I've been conscious about it all my life and try very hard not to talk too much. Sometimes, I'll realize that I've been talking too much, get aggravated with myself, and withdraw into my own little world. Then it's like a little pity party inside my head.
I think somewhere along the line, I became a really self-conscious person. The kind of person who obsesses over every single thing they do, say, even think. At times, it can be rather debilitating. Being with Lolly for these past 7 years has really helped me to realize that if somebody that amazing can love me for the overactive, chatty, downright annoying person that I can be, then there's no reason I should be so worried about myself. If it were really that bad then I wouldnt have so many friends and family around me. They complain to me at times about my babbling, but they're all still here, aren't they? That must count for something.
So I continue on down my road of talking...talking...talking. Filling the void of silence with abolutely random, uncomfortable, absurd things that probably shouldn't be said. Ever. To anyone. Maybe my new little outlet will help me to say them to myself, instead of others.
lovely first post Justin. Although you are a chatterbox, that is what we love best about you! And sometimes you can ramble on forever, but you always manage to write beautifully.
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