design-y

Over the past few months, I've been toying with some graphic designs. OK, it's COMPLETELY not my forte'. But I get inspired by random things and create these images. Sometimes its photoshopery, sometimes, its just abstractions of basic images. Not works fo art by any stretch of the imagination. The images that I've done relate to nothing. Have no real use. I've toyed with the idea of printing on canvas and/or fabric. Not sure exactly how to go about doing so, but will figure it out if I decide to venture futher into this little sidebar. I actually sometimes spend quite a bit of time on my 5,000 year old laptop creating these little buggers. Maybe if I get a little confidence one day, I'll post one or two. Who knows. eh. Just felt like saying it out loud. Now go! GO! and enjoy this beautiful friday!

OK, I'm done. just done.

Yeah, you read that right. 2.5 years at this place...and I've finally reached that point. Nothing in particular, just the complete and utter lack of confidence in this job..and essentially this profession. I've toyed with the idea of not doing landscape almost since we were in school. Actually, I have been thinking about it since before graduation if we're being totally honest. Even though I've started the licensure process for validation, I'm not sure I need it or even want it anymore. Yes, I did give 6 years of my life to an education. And yes, I am willing to leave that behind. The fact of the matter is, in those 6 years of school I learned a lot more than just landscape. I've learned computer programs, presentation skills, general design principles, and many other organizational skills & people skills that I didn't necessarily have before. These things all give me the qualifications I need to work in many different professions, even though my degree is specialized.

I LOVE plants and I love being outside. I also love coastal restoration and jobs that have MEANING. I do not feel like working for/with measly residential clients or greedy commercial developers or useless governmental types looking to get their pet project funded (or not). I'm just tired of the day-to-day struggle of making anybody try to listen to us about how important landscape is for a project. It means nothing to me. I've been going through the motions for quite some time now, just getting by to try to provide for the girls. I'm done with that. I will provide for them. Just not here.

This place is just in a continual state of purgatory. As much as we try, there will never be enough improvement and stability for this place to ever be a long-term option. Not at all. That's why I'm on the lookout. I'm very grateful to have employment in this tough economic climate, but I'm unfulfilled and it's affecting my home life. I project my misery onto my girls and i WILL NOT let that continue. I want to be happy in all aspects of my life. At least content in the work aspect. That's not happening now...in fact it's getting worse. I cant fake happy anymore, so I've got my search glasses on. Be on the look out, will ya?

squishy

I just wanted to say how much a smile and a kiss means in the morning from Bebe. This morning we had a little back & forth yell-a-thon. Her "yelling" is like deep grunt from her belly followed by the cutest grin. EVER. Dropping her off at daycare, she's started to cry now when I hand her off. Just take my heart out and stomp on it why don't ya??? But she always waves bye to me and now she's learning how to blow a kiss. Pure unadulterated cuteness. GOD I love this kid. Just another reason to wake up in the morning!

Happy Thursday interwebs...