For as long as I have lived, patience has been somewhat of an intangible thing for me. The ever-changing technological age probably doesn't help anything; but its something more than that. I think I was born with some sort of insatiable need for everything I want, when I want it. How I want it. Now. Its and odd feeling and almost unbearable at times to be waiting for something you have no control over.
These last dozen or so months I've begun to actually understand what patience really is. I'm learning that, despite my most fervent wantings, I do not have control over everything. It's a little unsettling when that stark reality hits you...like a linebacker.
At the same time, it's also very soothing to finally figure out just how to let go. It's a way of recognizing that there are others out there whose needs and actions are more important than my own. That's a big one for me folks. BIG one. You'd think being in a relationship for 8 years with someone you love, admire, and respect would teach you selflessness...and it did...a little. Bringing another life into this world who won't understand the basic principles of patience for a number of years and raising her as parents has finally shown me the light. I've learned patience for my spouse, my daughter (who is oddly enough my teacher), my family, and complete strangers. That last one there is something I think we could all use a little more of.
This patience is spilling over into my professional quest for fulfillment. This is a quest that I've learned is not overnight. Searching for change in one's career is a daunting task not to be taken lightly. So I'm taking my time, looking around, trying to figure out what may suit me best. I guess when it all comes down to it though, fulfillment may have to take a backseat to providing for my family. Well, at least for a little while, right?
