Ebb & Flow

The past few weeks have been filled with complete and utter disdain for work, sprinkled with a little bit of actually enjoying it. One of the bright spots is a small promotion within the office. A new title, a few more days off, and (when it can be afforded) a raise will at some point come. This is very exciting, and at the same time, its not at all. Hooray! I got a raise! But for what? For showing up and doing my job? Congrats to you for being very able to disguise the fact that you like your job so much, we'll reward you. Bleh. Tainted much?

That's the aforementioned ebb. I don't necessarily hate what I do....most of the time. I just generally dislike the overall tone of the profession. Especially around this area. Its a constant uphill battle just to get people to understand something so basic as the importance of having trees vs. a 5 ac. paved parking lot. Honestly? What year is this? This place is positively medieval sometimes.

AND, Chloe has decided to act out and destroy our house, make our lives hell. I love the dog, but she's just got to go. It breaks my heart and we will only give her to someone who can love her as much as we have. I just cant come home to a destroyed house daily. We're gonna go ahead and give her a couple more weeks, but this time, she'll live outside in the backyard on a zip line. IF this proves to be too much, she's out.

But then again, I'm just bitching. Well, that's what this blog's for anyway. My own little outlet for venting. This way, I don't have to actually bother people with my words. And there are usually LOTS of words that come out of this mouth (or fingers).

The bright spot(s) of my life are good as always. Although Lolly is a little under the weather, her medicine has kept her from having any symptoms or flare-ups since March. Which is fan-frickin-tastic. And Bebe is changing daily. She's scooting, crawling (if that's what you call what she does), pivoting in circles, laughing, sounding out almost words, pulling up on furniture, and trying to walk. All this has started to occur at such a rapid pace. It's both frightening and amazing. Amazing to see and be a part of the fundamental learning processes of your child. Frightening because of how disgustingly quickly it all passes by. I take every moment I can to sneak a hug. A kiss. A cuddle when she's sleeping...since she no longer sits still long enough to actually cuddle. It is all very wonderful though. Coming home to my girls is what makes this whole life fun! Gone are the days of bar hopping and all-nighters. Gone are the days of getting to work ridiculously early and staying a little late. These are the days of staying at home til the last minute possible and rushing home after work. Going to bed at 9 or 10 (instead of 12). These are the days and I cherish every moment I can, because change always lurks around the bend and I don't want to miss a moment!

mass hysteria

Lately with the many new policies of the current administration, those groups and organizations that oppose the aforementioned have been driven into a feeding frenzy.  So many things to rip.  Where to start?  nationality?  socialism?   lack of qualifications?  Chose your weapon.  LORD knows many others have.  

It's purely nauseating.  It absolutely amazes me that the national conversation has gone from constructive discussions about public issues to public shouting matches about the daily things we've dealt with for decades.  Nay, centuries.  I mean, it's change we're talking about.  Right?  Ok, that's what I thought.  Apparently the very nature of change itself (not the actual change) is just so terrifying to some people that they'd rather scream, shout, and threaten others just to protect their way of life and keep things just the way they are.  Even if that way is self-destructive or unproductive.  It's not even the specific issue with which "change" is referenced that brings people to hysterics.  Just the word.  

Amazing what the ramifications of just one word can be.

Change:  to become altered or modified   - a verb as defined by dictionary.com

Why is change such a completely polarizing word, action, noun, ect.?  Are we just so afraid to step outside of what our absolute norm is and learn a little something new?  Is it so difficult to possibly see things in another way?  Could it really be that bad?

well...its something to ponder anyway.