Thursday, October 28, 2010

[insert whiny blog post title here]

Yeah, it's gonna be one of those. Sorry...no home improvement updates here today. No new projects for me to start and take for.ev.er. to finish. Just some whining. Yep!

I just don't get it. I've got this (supposedly) amazing degree in a progressive design field from one of the top programs in the country. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to do something like what it is I do. Working to create environments for people to live/work/play in sounds great doesn't it? Turns out I hate it. Not just a little, but a LOT. Instead of working on one of our forthcoming deadlines, I'm writing a blog post about how much I hate it.

Out of the entire class, a good number of us are not practicing in LA. Words cannot describe how envious I am of those who are not. Those who can follow their passions to do whatever it is they want. Those who have unbelievable talents (whether cultivated or just inherent in their souls) that they can transform into a career are praise-worthy. That is the type of daily life I long for.

Small problem: i have NO IDEA what it is that I'm good at or what it is that I want to be good at...

I just know beyond the shadow of a doubt that Landscape Architecting is not it. Garden design is not even it. But what is? I like plants. I like people(sometimes). Hell, I even like bar tending. Bar tending does NOT pay the bills though. Maybe I just need a daily grind that doesn't make me want to grind my face off AND provides for my family the way I'd like to. Do I need to be fulfilled at my job? Can fulfillment come from elsewhere? I don't know. I just DON'T. KNOW.

....eh

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