time for a little change

Lolly & I have recently been getting bored with our house and looking to make some little improvements. We've adopted a new color for the door: deep eggplant. Yes, our house will now have on it yellow, green, and purple. NO. It is absolutely NOT a mardi gras house. Not at all. Trust me, I tested it. The eggplant color is the perfect complement to the dark green trim color, yet contrasts in a fun way for an inviting front door. Do I work for southern living? I sound like I think I do.

Anyways...we've decided our next task, upon completion of painting, will be to take out a wall. Ambitious, huh? Well, we originally wanted to move the wall further into the diningroom, but have decided that would be costly and require that we replace ALL of our cabinets. Lots of cost for only 3 extra feet in the kitchen. SO not worth it. So we're going to turn the remaining half of that wall into a pass-through complete with bar. See image below:

Should be a fun reno!

Progress photos to come as the renovation begins...

waiting. ugh.

So,

A friend recently said that waiting for something was just torture.  Having to wait for something you want was just plain not fun.  It made me think back to a book I read:  The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.  In it, Dave says that if you can live without it, it's worth waiting for. 

That's most of everything we buy today.  We "need" it, but dont really need it.  Its more of a mental thing.  We force ourselves to believe we need it when in fact, we just want it and consider it essential.  No matter what.  No matter how insignificant.  Its not so much that we cant live without it, but that it would make life so much easier, therefore we need it.  Or it would make us happy, therefore we need it.  Ever since I first read Dave's book, I've begun to realize that we "need" far more than we actually need.  As a generation, we consume massive amounts of materials all in the name of "need."  (i apologize for the overzealous use of quotations, but I "need" them.  hehehe)

We tell ourselves we must be prepared for every possible outcome of every situation of every second of every day.  So we fill our lives with "needs" or stuff.  We dont need it.  IT gives us security and makes us happy that we are able to provide for ourselves.  So we get IT.  Again, we dont really need it.  

I think that's one of the biggest things I've taken from the last few years.  I've learned to periodically purge and remove this excess from my life. This was hardly once the case; when I used to collect coke stuff or whatever struck my fancy.  These days, I would lose my mind.  Minimal.  That is life.  Why have all this excess on the off chance that you MIGHT use it?  Share things.   We borrow things from our friends who also have kids.  It may make us seem like a mooch at times.  But hey, why buy that thing if somebody you know has the same thing isnt using it?  Why consume so much excess on the off chance that you MAY one day need it?  It's not essential, so just wait.  Save up.  Get it when it actually becomes essential, which it most likely never will.  There are far too many other good things to do with your time and money than to consume and buy and fill your life with all this misc junk you really dont need.

but that's just my late night thought for the day.  Who am I kidding.
(see previous post for comments on opinion) 

Noooooow I get it.

Boy,

Opinions really are like...well...you know. Yeah. Everybody's got 'em, but nobody really wants to hear 'em. Lesson learned. I think it hit me like a ton of bricks b/c I have always just thrown mine out there like it was the word of God and didn't really care if it bothered anybody. Well, looking back, it bothers ME. What a douchetard. Why does my opinion really matter in the grand scheme of things unless it's to me? Who really cares? Unless somebody asks, NOBODY cares. Thats what I've learned.

Especially since lately, listening to everybody's opinions about where we should live, how we should raise our family, etc are just plain annoying. Actually, they at times make me angry. What gives you the right or makes you think you opinion is really valid as it pertains to me? GOD I have a lot of work to do before I no longer throw my opinion out there too. But hey, I'm glad I finally caught on.

lullllllllllllllll

Sometimes, work shifts into high gear and you feel like there's not enough hours in the day to get everything done. You think that any minute, you'll snap and just walk out. There's just not enough of me to go around! It can be quite maddening.

well...this week is not one of those. For some reason, we hit a major lull here and I really don't have any pressing deadlines or anything of the sort. What has this taught me? Well, I now know that I work well under pressure. In fact, if there is no pressure I pretty much don't work at all. What does that say about me? Am I unmotivated? Am I lazy? Do I need something else in my life? UGH Who knows.

Guess I'll go break my 2-week streak and have a cup of coffee. Hey, I've held out long enough. Danget.

catching up...

Whoa! It's been over a month since my last post. Pathetic? yes.

I've been a bit preoccupied with work and life and the family and havent really had any ammo with which to write.

This past weekend we went on vacation to Orange Beach and even though it was only 4 days, it was a much needed reprieve from the everyday hum-drum. With an almost-7-month-old, 4 days is the perfect amount of time. We did nothing but eat, watch TV, and play on the beach or in the pool @ our condo. It was great! Bebe, as it turns out, is NOT a fan of waves. Water is ok, but waves...well, waves bring on tears and screaming.

Anyway, after this little mini-break, I think I'm recharged enough to last me for a while. I would have enjoyed one more day off just to do whatever around the house, but I guess that's what I'll be doing this Friday since we have the day off (paid, mind you).

I think in the weeks leading up to our trip, I made a little bit of progress on the pity-party front. I'm learning to not wake up and dread the days. I'm not whining come Sunday b/c tomorrow's Monday. I'm learning to just deal with the days and the conflicts and the annoyances as they come. I'm not completely healed from being stupid, but it's a work in progress. Progress that's been a long time coming..27 1/2 years in the making actually. This is actually a really big deal for me. Say your prayers that I keep it up and maybe my disposition will improve slightly.

Next up: how to NOT talk so much. That's gonna be a tough one....

Patience is a virtue...apparently a learned one

Patience is a virtue that i have NEVER had. I completely lack the ability to wait on anything or anyone. It's been that way ever since I was a little kid. I can distinctly remember pitching fits when things weren't done my way or in my timeframe. What a brat. If I were my parents, I would have whipped me a little more often. I know I deserved it.

In the past 27 years I have not really gained any patience whatsoever. I think it's my "rabid squirrel" nature as B would say. I have the attention span of a dog. Oh look, a squirrel! I also lack entirely the ability to stay still. Yes I was that kid in church whose legs were shaking and whose mom looked ready to duct tape me to the underside of the pew. How she didnt do it at least once, I'll never know. That woman has the patience of a saint. That's why I love her so much! I mean, anybody that can put up with me through the growing years AND my dad deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. Lucky for her, Coco was a calming presence in the house.

It wasn't until December 12, 2008 that I started to learn what exactly this elusive virtue is. Bebe is just a helpless little bug that requires we wait on her hand and foot all the time. Having a baby forces you to realize that what you're doing in the here and now is NOT as important as you thought it was. The dishes can wait. Breakfast can wait. That shirt can get washed later and who really cares if the grass requires a bulldozer to cut it. We don't have to leave RIGHT NOW...we can leave when she's up from her nap or after she's had a bottle and a good burp (and puked all over my shoulder....daily). SHE needs attention NOW! She's hungry, or tired, or just wants to play. It's so worth it to drop the world around you, flush your cellphone down the toilet, and just sit and visit. Even if it's just to pick her up and pat the butt until she nods off to sleep, chewing on her little thumb and humming softly. Of all the things in the world, she is the most calming presence in my life. She has this incredible ability to look into my eyes and make my soul melt into a pile of goo. When she smiles that coy little smile, I'm reminded of the awesome responsibilities that Lolly and I now hold and all that's riding on how we raise our little one.

So now I take the time to relax. Or just meditate. Or plan out what it is that I'm thinking about in a little more detail. I spend more time thinking BEFORE I do...not something I'm exactly known for. After all, the most common phrase out of my parents mouths growing up was: "Think before you speak"

Hey, I'm learning....

Some days I'm convinced I'm bipolar. Not the jumping into a fountain and throwing coffee at people while on a date kind of bipolar. Just retarted fast mood swings and instant apathy. Its weird. I could be having the most completely average day and all of a sudden, just want to crawl inside of a box or get completely aggravated and instantly withdraw from a group or a conversation. I had one of those moments while walking around the grid earlier trying to find something to eat. I don't really subscribe to overly medicating oneself, but at times I think I might just be better off. Or maybe I'm just a whiner.

jeez.