Joyeux Noel

Today's Christmas Eve! I can't believe how quickly this last year has passed. Even with a tornado warning outside and rain like cats & dogs, there are so many things to be thankful for! We got a christmas bonus for one! We are also blessed to have a wonderful healthy happy family, a beautiful daughter, and a great home. This coming week/weekend are to be filled with family and friends, food and excess. In this season of overkill, I wish you and yours a little respite. A little calm during the storm that is Christmas/Holiday madness. May the blessings of the season be abundant in your lives and we look forward to welcoming a number of new babies to the world.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday my love!

Allie,



Today is your first birthday and your party was quite the success! Happy Birthday my little angel Mommy & Daddy love you!

ok, I know that year is around here somewhere...

It's just completely perplexing.

One entire year...365 days gone. Well, 360 anyway. Five days to go until the bebe is 1 whole year. From what I understand they only pass more quickly. Thinking back to those early days, the first day up until about the fourth week, it seemed like parenthood would drag on for.ev.er.

Those are the toughest days...just getting used to the fact that you are no longer the center of your own world...or anyone esle's for that matter. You're now just a moon orbiting around this tiny little planet. This magnetic being that, for no explainable reason, you can't help but be drawn to. You love your spouse with all your heart and soul and think that this is the pinnacle of love. Then you meet this one tiny person and instantly that love is magnified beyond all that you've known before. It's almost intangible.

So here we are, frantically pulling things together for the first birthday party. The celebration of one year since we met the most special little girl in our lives. On our tiny little planet. This is the second Christmas too...although I'd hardly call last year her first one. She was merely in existence and didn't get the chance to experience it. This year will be MUCH different. She already looks longingly at the Christmas tree. Here's to hoping she doesn't pull it over...at least not until after Christmas. That reminds me...time to find some fishing string to tie the thing to the curtain rods nearby. That should do the trick eh?

Well, in any case, here are a few pictures highlighting the past year. Here's to many more wonderful years and waaaay to many pictures to come!

First week of December...just before baby

day one...welcome to the world little one

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

...and December!

productivity

This past weekend was actually productive.  I FINALLY finished the kitchen!!!!!!  This phase anyway.  Last time dad was in, we talked about doing all the new cabinets.  Whoa!  hold on a minute!  Hehehe...but he offered.  I'm going to measure the space up and dimension out what it is that we want in a kitchen full-o-cabinets.  The first things to go in will be the upper cabinets over the sink and then the wall unit that will replace the Caribbean style pantry that dad built.  Don't worry, I'm never getting rid of that work of art!  The lower cabinets will not be replaced until we can afford new counter tops.  Then, of course, we'll have beautiful black granite (or concrete) and it'll make sense to do the lower cabinets at the same time.  We'll also do the dishwasher at that time too since we'll be in the business of making massive messes.  Alliteration..see how I did that.  hehe

NEXT after that will be ripping the builder's stock crappy beige tiles out and replacing them with white oak.  That'll be costly, but worth it.  All of these splendid things will just have to wait in line.  The next step of this ongoing process of home renovations will be to remove the ancient concrete steps that have subsided and replace them with new wood ones that are easier to maintain and don't pose a tripping hazard.  That'll probably happen after the 1st of the year.  Then after that, we'll be doing the 1/2 bath / laundry room venture, which will be another project that just drags on...  I don't really mind though b/c if you get everything you want done at one time, you never have anything to look forward to, right?  

freezeframe

This weekend was by no means an amazing weekend.  But I didn't want it to end.  2 of the most special moments I think I will ever remember happened this weekend and it made me so thankful for the life that I've been given.  God blesses me daily and Lolly & Bebe are constant reminders of that.  

Saturday morning, we were cleaning up the house, doing laundry, fighting with the computer for being a stupid ancient piece of junk.  I finally got the iTunes to work, so I just cranked it way up.  Lolly was getting ready, so this was welcome.  She started dancing a little, then Bebe decided to get into the mix and shake her booty.  (side note:  I had no idea babies could have rhythm, but this chick most certainly does).  So i scooped her up, held her in my arms, and the 3 of us danced and did the tango for about 5 or so minutes.  The wee one laughed her head off the entire time.  It didn't last long at all, but those few blissful, care-free, smile-filled moments were amazing!  It was GREAT!

Then, last night after Lara left, we all laid on the couch while Bebe had a bottle.  After she had her bottle, mommy decided to tickle her until she turned red.  The squirts little uncontrollable laugh is contagious and just makes me happy.  I'm still picturing it in my head.  

I know how corny it all is, but these tiny little moments are what make the bad moments in life better.  I'm lucky to have the friends that I do.  You all are great!  And the family is just icing on the cake.

full steam ahead!

I've got renewed hutspa (sp???)! I've decided that now is the time to get all the little pieces of the kitchen DONE. Here's my list:

-steel wool and re-varnish all woodwork
-putty and paint cabinets that were re-worked
-finish crown molding - set nail heads, caulk, etc.
-caulk remaining cracks in bead board
-put final coat on walls
-repaint all kitchen trim, including bar
-varnish pass-through top
-replace hidden door hinges & catch
-repaint ceilings
-paint dining room


These are all things NOBODY notices when they come into the house, but it drives me berserk.
So I, Justin, do solemnly swear to finish this crap before the holidays get here! Otherwise, who knows when that'll happen huh?

chugga chugga chugga chugga

I was just reminded of the little engine that could from reading another blog. Kinda sounds like how I feel as of late. But I think I'm getting better at managing my utter distaste for this daily grind. Not that I'm contemplating staying here...cuz I'm not. Got it? Kthx. I tell myself daily that it's just this job. It's just right now. And it won't last forever. Not even close to forever.

I'm working on my artistic distractions daily, as well as my resume. I admire ctc for her steadfast hunger to mold and shape herself daily. It's inspiring and enticing my creative side to find its true outlet. Work in progress...I'll be posting something sometime soon...ish

design-y

Over the past few months, I've been toying with some graphic designs. OK, it's COMPLETELY not my forte'. But I get inspired by random things and create these images. Sometimes its photoshopery, sometimes, its just abstractions of basic images. Not works fo art by any stretch of the imagination. The images that I've done relate to nothing. Have no real use. I've toyed with the idea of printing on canvas and/or fabric. Not sure exactly how to go about doing so, but will figure it out if I decide to venture futher into this little sidebar. I actually sometimes spend quite a bit of time on my 5,000 year old laptop creating these little buggers. Maybe if I get a little confidence one day, I'll post one or two. Who knows. eh. Just felt like saying it out loud. Now go! GO! and enjoy this beautiful friday!

OK, I'm done. just done.

Yeah, you read that right. 2.5 years at this place...and I've finally reached that point. Nothing in particular, just the complete and utter lack of confidence in this job..and essentially this profession. I've toyed with the idea of not doing landscape almost since we were in school. Actually, I have been thinking about it since before graduation if we're being totally honest. Even though I've started the licensure process for validation, I'm not sure I need it or even want it anymore. Yes, I did give 6 years of my life to an education. And yes, I am willing to leave that behind. The fact of the matter is, in those 6 years of school I learned a lot more than just landscape. I've learned computer programs, presentation skills, general design principles, and many other organizational skills & people skills that I didn't necessarily have before. These things all give me the qualifications I need to work in many different professions, even though my degree is specialized.

I LOVE plants and I love being outside. I also love coastal restoration and jobs that have MEANING. I do not feel like working for/with measly residential clients or greedy commercial developers or useless governmental types looking to get their pet project funded (or not). I'm just tired of the day-to-day struggle of making anybody try to listen to us about how important landscape is for a project. It means nothing to me. I've been going through the motions for quite some time now, just getting by to try to provide for the girls. I'm done with that. I will provide for them. Just not here.

This place is just in a continual state of purgatory. As much as we try, there will never be enough improvement and stability for this place to ever be a long-term option. Not at all. That's why I'm on the lookout. I'm very grateful to have employment in this tough economic climate, but I'm unfulfilled and it's affecting my home life. I project my misery onto my girls and i WILL NOT let that continue. I want to be happy in all aspects of my life. At least content in the work aspect. That's not happening now...in fact it's getting worse. I cant fake happy anymore, so I've got my search glasses on. Be on the look out, will ya?

squishy

I just wanted to say how much a smile and a kiss means in the morning from Bebe. This morning we had a little back & forth yell-a-thon. Her "yelling" is like deep grunt from her belly followed by the cutest grin. EVER. Dropping her off at daycare, she's started to cry now when I hand her off. Just take my heart out and stomp on it why don't ya??? But she always waves bye to me and now she's learning how to blow a kiss. Pure unadulterated cuteness. GOD I love this kid. Just another reason to wake up in the morning!

Happy Thursday interwebs...

Ebb & Flow

The past few weeks have been filled with complete and utter disdain for work, sprinkled with a little bit of actually enjoying it. One of the bright spots is a small promotion within the office. A new title, a few more days off, and (when it can be afforded) a raise will at some point come. This is very exciting, and at the same time, its not at all. Hooray! I got a raise! But for what? For showing up and doing my job? Congrats to you for being very able to disguise the fact that you like your job so much, we'll reward you. Bleh. Tainted much?

That's the aforementioned ebb. I don't necessarily hate what I do....most of the time. I just generally dislike the overall tone of the profession. Especially around this area. Its a constant uphill battle just to get people to understand something so basic as the importance of having trees vs. a 5 ac. paved parking lot. Honestly? What year is this? This place is positively medieval sometimes.

AND, Chloe has decided to act out and destroy our house, make our lives hell. I love the dog, but she's just got to go. It breaks my heart and we will only give her to someone who can love her as much as we have. I just cant come home to a destroyed house daily. We're gonna go ahead and give her a couple more weeks, but this time, she'll live outside in the backyard on a zip line. IF this proves to be too much, she's out.

But then again, I'm just bitching. Well, that's what this blog's for anyway. My own little outlet for venting. This way, I don't have to actually bother people with my words. And there are usually LOTS of words that come out of this mouth (or fingers).

The bright spot(s) of my life are good as always. Although Lolly is a little under the weather, her medicine has kept her from having any symptoms or flare-ups since March. Which is fan-frickin-tastic. And Bebe is changing daily. She's scooting, crawling (if that's what you call what she does), pivoting in circles, laughing, sounding out almost words, pulling up on furniture, and trying to walk. All this has started to occur at such a rapid pace. It's both frightening and amazing. Amazing to see and be a part of the fundamental learning processes of your child. Frightening because of how disgustingly quickly it all passes by. I take every moment I can to sneak a hug. A kiss. A cuddle when she's sleeping...since she no longer sits still long enough to actually cuddle. It is all very wonderful though. Coming home to my girls is what makes this whole life fun! Gone are the days of bar hopping and all-nighters. Gone are the days of getting to work ridiculously early and staying a little late. These are the days of staying at home til the last minute possible and rushing home after work. Going to bed at 9 or 10 (instead of 12). These are the days and I cherish every moment I can, because change always lurks around the bend and I don't want to miss a moment!

mass hysteria

Lately with the many new policies of the current administration, those groups and organizations that oppose the aforementioned have been driven into a feeding frenzy.  So many things to rip.  Where to start?  nationality?  socialism?   lack of qualifications?  Chose your weapon.  LORD knows many others have.  

It's purely nauseating.  It absolutely amazes me that the national conversation has gone from constructive discussions about public issues to public shouting matches about the daily things we've dealt with for decades.  Nay, centuries.  I mean, it's change we're talking about.  Right?  Ok, that's what I thought.  Apparently the very nature of change itself (not the actual change) is just so terrifying to some people that they'd rather scream, shout, and threaten others just to protect their way of life and keep things just the way they are.  Even if that way is self-destructive or unproductive.  It's not even the specific issue with which "change" is referenced that brings people to hysterics.  Just the word.  

Amazing what the ramifications of just one word can be.

Change:  to become altered or modified   - a verb as defined by dictionary.com

Why is change such a completely polarizing word, action, noun, ect.?  Are we just so afraid to step outside of what our absolute norm is and learn a little something new?  Is it so difficult to possibly see things in another way?  Could it really be that bad?

well...its something to ponder anyway.  

time for a little change

Lolly & I have recently been getting bored with our house and looking to make some little improvements. We've adopted a new color for the door: deep eggplant. Yes, our house will now have on it yellow, green, and purple. NO. It is absolutely NOT a mardi gras house. Not at all. Trust me, I tested it. The eggplant color is the perfect complement to the dark green trim color, yet contrasts in a fun way for an inviting front door. Do I work for southern living? I sound like I think I do.

Anyways...we've decided our next task, upon completion of painting, will be to take out a wall. Ambitious, huh? Well, we originally wanted to move the wall further into the diningroom, but have decided that would be costly and require that we replace ALL of our cabinets. Lots of cost for only 3 extra feet in the kitchen. SO not worth it. So we're going to turn the remaining half of that wall into a pass-through complete with bar. See image below:

Should be a fun reno!

Progress photos to come as the renovation begins...

waiting. ugh.

So,

A friend recently said that waiting for something was just torture.  Having to wait for something you want was just plain not fun.  It made me think back to a book I read:  The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.  In it, Dave says that if you can live without it, it's worth waiting for. 

That's most of everything we buy today.  We "need" it, but dont really need it.  Its more of a mental thing.  We force ourselves to believe we need it when in fact, we just want it and consider it essential.  No matter what.  No matter how insignificant.  Its not so much that we cant live without it, but that it would make life so much easier, therefore we need it.  Or it would make us happy, therefore we need it.  Ever since I first read Dave's book, I've begun to realize that we "need" far more than we actually need.  As a generation, we consume massive amounts of materials all in the name of "need."  (i apologize for the overzealous use of quotations, but I "need" them.  hehehe)

We tell ourselves we must be prepared for every possible outcome of every situation of every second of every day.  So we fill our lives with "needs" or stuff.  We dont need it.  IT gives us security and makes us happy that we are able to provide for ourselves.  So we get IT.  Again, we dont really need it.  

I think that's one of the biggest things I've taken from the last few years.  I've learned to periodically purge and remove this excess from my life. This was hardly once the case; when I used to collect coke stuff or whatever struck my fancy.  These days, I would lose my mind.  Minimal.  That is life.  Why have all this excess on the off chance that you MIGHT use it?  Share things.   We borrow things from our friends who also have kids.  It may make us seem like a mooch at times.  But hey, why buy that thing if somebody you know has the same thing isnt using it?  Why consume so much excess on the off chance that you MAY one day need it?  It's not essential, so just wait.  Save up.  Get it when it actually becomes essential, which it most likely never will.  There are far too many other good things to do with your time and money than to consume and buy and fill your life with all this misc junk you really dont need.

but that's just my late night thought for the day.  Who am I kidding.
(see previous post for comments on opinion) 

Noooooow I get it.

Boy,

Opinions really are like...well...you know. Yeah. Everybody's got 'em, but nobody really wants to hear 'em. Lesson learned. I think it hit me like a ton of bricks b/c I have always just thrown mine out there like it was the word of God and didn't really care if it bothered anybody. Well, looking back, it bothers ME. What a douchetard. Why does my opinion really matter in the grand scheme of things unless it's to me? Who really cares? Unless somebody asks, NOBODY cares. Thats what I've learned.

Especially since lately, listening to everybody's opinions about where we should live, how we should raise our family, etc are just plain annoying. Actually, they at times make me angry. What gives you the right or makes you think you opinion is really valid as it pertains to me? GOD I have a lot of work to do before I no longer throw my opinion out there too. But hey, I'm glad I finally caught on.

lullllllllllllllll

Sometimes, work shifts into high gear and you feel like there's not enough hours in the day to get everything done. You think that any minute, you'll snap and just walk out. There's just not enough of me to go around! It can be quite maddening.

well...this week is not one of those. For some reason, we hit a major lull here and I really don't have any pressing deadlines or anything of the sort. What has this taught me? Well, I now know that I work well under pressure. In fact, if there is no pressure I pretty much don't work at all. What does that say about me? Am I unmotivated? Am I lazy? Do I need something else in my life? UGH Who knows.

Guess I'll go break my 2-week streak and have a cup of coffee. Hey, I've held out long enough. Danget.

catching up...

Whoa! It's been over a month since my last post. Pathetic? yes.

I've been a bit preoccupied with work and life and the family and havent really had any ammo with which to write.

This past weekend we went on vacation to Orange Beach and even though it was only 4 days, it was a much needed reprieve from the everyday hum-drum. With an almost-7-month-old, 4 days is the perfect amount of time. We did nothing but eat, watch TV, and play on the beach or in the pool @ our condo. It was great! Bebe, as it turns out, is NOT a fan of waves. Water is ok, but waves...well, waves bring on tears and screaming.

Anyway, after this little mini-break, I think I'm recharged enough to last me for a while. I would have enjoyed one more day off just to do whatever around the house, but I guess that's what I'll be doing this Friday since we have the day off (paid, mind you).

I think in the weeks leading up to our trip, I made a little bit of progress on the pity-party front. I'm learning to not wake up and dread the days. I'm not whining come Sunday b/c tomorrow's Monday. I'm learning to just deal with the days and the conflicts and the annoyances as they come. I'm not completely healed from being stupid, but it's a work in progress. Progress that's been a long time coming..27 1/2 years in the making actually. This is actually a really big deal for me. Say your prayers that I keep it up and maybe my disposition will improve slightly.

Next up: how to NOT talk so much. That's gonna be a tough one....

Patience is a virtue...apparently a learned one

Patience is a virtue that i have NEVER had. I completely lack the ability to wait on anything or anyone. It's been that way ever since I was a little kid. I can distinctly remember pitching fits when things weren't done my way or in my timeframe. What a brat. If I were my parents, I would have whipped me a little more often. I know I deserved it.

In the past 27 years I have not really gained any patience whatsoever. I think it's my "rabid squirrel" nature as B would say. I have the attention span of a dog. Oh look, a squirrel! I also lack entirely the ability to stay still. Yes I was that kid in church whose legs were shaking and whose mom looked ready to duct tape me to the underside of the pew. How she didnt do it at least once, I'll never know. That woman has the patience of a saint. That's why I love her so much! I mean, anybody that can put up with me through the growing years AND my dad deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. Lucky for her, Coco was a calming presence in the house.

It wasn't until December 12, 2008 that I started to learn what exactly this elusive virtue is. Bebe is just a helpless little bug that requires we wait on her hand and foot all the time. Having a baby forces you to realize that what you're doing in the here and now is NOT as important as you thought it was. The dishes can wait. Breakfast can wait. That shirt can get washed later and who really cares if the grass requires a bulldozer to cut it. We don't have to leave RIGHT NOW...we can leave when she's up from her nap or after she's had a bottle and a good burp (and puked all over my shoulder....daily). SHE needs attention NOW! She's hungry, or tired, or just wants to play. It's so worth it to drop the world around you, flush your cellphone down the toilet, and just sit and visit. Even if it's just to pick her up and pat the butt until she nods off to sleep, chewing on her little thumb and humming softly. Of all the things in the world, she is the most calming presence in my life. She has this incredible ability to look into my eyes and make my soul melt into a pile of goo. When she smiles that coy little smile, I'm reminded of the awesome responsibilities that Lolly and I now hold and all that's riding on how we raise our little one.

So now I take the time to relax. Or just meditate. Or plan out what it is that I'm thinking about in a little more detail. I spend more time thinking BEFORE I do...not something I'm exactly known for. After all, the most common phrase out of my parents mouths growing up was: "Think before you speak"

Hey, I'm learning....

Some days I'm convinced I'm bipolar. Not the jumping into a fountain and throwing coffee at people while on a date kind of bipolar. Just retarted fast mood swings and instant apathy. Its weird. I could be having the most completely average day and all of a sudden, just want to crawl inside of a box or get completely aggravated and instantly withdraw from a group or a conversation. I had one of those moments while walking around the grid earlier trying to find something to eat. I don't really subscribe to overly medicating oneself, but at times I think I might just be better off. Or maybe I'm just a whiner.

jeez.

much a'do about nothing

Sometimes refreshing is just a weekend of nothing significant at all. A couple of days bundled together, dotted with minuscule things that just keep you from falling asleep. Fixing that leak in the A/C, writing a new list of to-do's, or just grilling a few burgers. All are fairly insignificant, but when combined, and absent of any travel or unexpected guests, can make for one of the better weekends in a while. It's odd how you spend your life planning the next trip, visit, or whatever..but the weekend you have absolutely nothing planned turns out to be the best! So here's to enjoying time with the family and beautiful weather!

no news is CERTAINLY good news....

Sometimes, it truly is good not to hear news. Or to be out of the loop. Except that when you finally do hear the news that has eluded you, it hits you like a ton of bricks to the gut. And it hurts a lot. Got part of it, now waiting for the rest, and it should be another week before I get it.
Thank GOD my girls give me strength....

The gift of wonder

Every morning, I wake up just a little groggy. Not enough sleep again..even if it's 8 or 9 hours. I assume that's the way it works when you get older, huh?
But every morning, I get to watch bebe's wake up routine. First, she opens the eyes slightly, then WIDE OPEN. Immediately, she greets me with a huge grin and a little giggle followed by the cutest little stretch and eye rub this earth has ever seen. True contentment is hard to find. This is where it lies. We get her out of bed, change the diaper, then it's breakfast time!

The morning bottle is a wonderful thing. It soothes, calms, and nourishes. It's time for a burp. I love burping bebe. When I put her to my chest with her head on my shoulder, I can see up close the look of sheer wonder in her eyes as she looks through the linen shades out the window to the world waiting for her to discover. The look of constant searching and learning is heart warming and at times, could almost bring me to tears.

It's exciting and bone crushingly agonizing to think of all the things those innocent eyes will see in their lifetime. I look forward every day to what will be new for her and for us. The journey continues...

thanks, but...no thanks

Advice. It's inevitable, right?

It seems like at every single juncture in your life, somebody's got some for you. In high school, it's advice on how to find out what you want to do and where you're going. In college, its what kind of job and when to get married. At your wedding, its marriage advice...LOTS of it. When you get married, its when to have kids.
Once you're expecting, its advice on E V E R Y T H I N G. Once the blessed bundle arrives, so does the steady stream of unsolicited advice from anyone who has ever been near a baby. So pretty much everybody, right?

How does one handle unwanted advice from family? So far it's been advice on every aspect of how to rear a child. More recently, however, advice on what to feed and when. I know this stuff is specific to child, but its impossible to fend off the advances of those closest to you and their advice b/c they are there so often and are more than willing to repeat it! A lot. I mean, its really difficult to tell somebody who shaped who I am today "thanks for the advice, but I'll stick with medical research and the MD knowledge of our pediatrician" without sounding like I'm completely ignoring them. Ugh. I'm guessing this is just what the rest of my days as a parent will be and I should just settle in and practice my blank stares and "uh huh, thanks" so I at least seem to be not a complete jerk.

That's tough!

Refreshed

A weekend away always does the trick.

Spending a good day with tons of friends out in the country eating crawfish and talking about nothing imporant and anything fun is just what I needed. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, the beer was flowing, the crawfish were hot & spicy, and the fellowship was by far the BEST part. Not only did we get to spend a good amount of our time relaxing, but Bebe got to meet the group and mom & dad stopped by for a bite to eat then went on to take the rugrat home with them for her first night away. I was almost worried about not having her near for a night, but quickly remembered mom & dad raised us, so Bebe would be fine.

Meanwhile, the weather is again gorgeous today and all the plants at the house are doing really well....except for these stubborn tomatoes that refuse to grow. Little do they know they're coming out this afternoon in favor of some shiny new ones that look like they're ready to do some growing! Better Boy & Yellow tomatoes! I cant wait to see what these yellows will do! The okra's not doing so hot either...some stupid stray cat keeps knocking them over. I think I'm gonna have to block that area off from kitty before he pisses me off too much. I still have yet to plant eggplant or basil. Can't wait for saturday's market to get some more fresh plants & produce. I tell you, being in my garden is good for the soul. It refreshes me to see my hard work pay off in the form of blooms, fruit, and savory herbs. Speaking of which. Is it 5 yet?

Looking forward to the bugs...

This weekend is our annualy Lemoine family reunion. My dad's mom, his 7 siblings, and their kids and their kids. That's right, I have A LOT of family. 14 aunts & uncles. 12 first cousins & theirs spouses. 13 second cousins. Not including myself or the girls, or coco. This is the first year in a while that most of the will acutally be there. A few here & there will be missing, but most should be around. We missed last year b/c we moved into our new house that weekend. Worth missing for your own new real estate! I've got a little trepidation about an afternoon visitng with dozens of family members at one persons house. Mostly because there are a few members of the fam that shall remain nameless that have become troublemakers in their old age. There are, however, a few bright spots that will come out of it. You know those cousins or family members who always make you happy and feel warm & gooey inside because you just enjoy being around them? Not for any reason other than that they remind you of the greatest times in your childhood? I've got a bunch of those and i am sooooo excited about seeing them.

Plus, bebe will be making her Lemoine family debut. MOST of my family has yet to meet her. Ridiculous? Yes. Especially since my family considers itself close, but that's an entirely different post for a day when I'm ready to vent. Hahah...still love them all, despite the heaping shovel full-o-crazy that they all bring with them.

Anyhoo...the BEST part about this weekend will be the boiled crawfish and beer at mom & dad's house and watching them fawn over bebe for the entire weekend. Ever since she was born, they're putty in our hands. It's wonderful to see them so in love!







Can't wait for the weekend to start!

poop

Just having one of those weeks where things are a little off. Poop is the theme for the week. Or Crap. Or merde (en francais). Or just plain shit. Not only have I been shat on 3 times this week, but it's gotten on the couch, my clothes, and in my nostrils...yuck. Green. Guacamole in color and texture. But I love my little bit so much, it's almost acceptable...almost.

And then there are the plumbing issue. A toilet at work that REFUSES to not leak. Despite being re-set a number of times. Now mr. penguin decides we'll just "leave it, since it's an old building and all." That's a great idea except there's f'n water all over the place. Any other good ideas in there genius. I'd love to hear em! Oh yeah, and then there's the sink and faucet. mimosa's mom got me an incredible faucet and sink worth nearly $1K combined for F R E E. Not a bad deal huh? Nothing is that simple. The faucet had to have 29834239478 different converters b/c apparently ELKAY is some foreign language for "make your life miserable. oh yeah and spit out water too sometimes..." It's finally installed, after 4 trips to home depot and lowes, one to the neighboring hardware store, and one to coburn's (which finally helped me). Then the sink. ohhh...the sink. Very nice. Stainless steel even. But a PAIN IN THE ASS. Had to move pipes b/c the sink is bigger than the old one, which is DEFINITELY a bonus, but a pain nevertheless. Then the clips that come on 90% of sinks in the friggin world don't work on this one. nope. i have to have a special kind of clip. Thanks Moen! The search continues for those, so 3 days later...our kitchen is still dissheveled..despite only needing to install a measly sink. It's gonna look great when it's done. If i dont burn the house down first.

To top it all off, my Lolly is sick. Really sick. On top of her stomach issues, today she's home b/c she's a spewing machine...must be a day bug. I certainly hope it is, b/c she has no vacation time and so she gets no pay. Overtime for me i guess! And dont even get me started on work...

A change indeed

A spring retreat. That sounds nice. I definitely agree with my adirondak friend that it's about time to find a little something to break up the monotony of daily adult life. While my exhaustion comes from only one job, there's enough of it to go around. These days, work has been exceptionally busy, bucking the national trend. Aside from being busy, it's been an increasingly difficult pill to swallow. One of those things where people tell you you're good at what you're doing, but you don't really agree with them. at all. It's definitely a challenge to show up some days with any sort of decorum or vigor for the work that we do. It's not to say anything against working here, because it has truly become a great place to work. Obvious exceptions exist, but such is the modern workplace..especially in studio format.

I just am slowly building up a full bag of "what exactly am i doing?" Some days, I'm content. I think, well...I can do this forever, its not that bad. Others, I'm so completely disgusted that I want to quit THIS INSTANT. The vast majority of the days, I am completely ambivalent. It's an odd place to be. I read somewhere that a good majority of people are unhappy doing what they do on a daily basis. I won't say I'm unhappy, but I'm uncomfortable and could be MUCH happier. But how? Doing what? How do you decide?

I love being outside. I love plants. I love cooking. I love people..........well...sometimes I love people. I guess it all depends on which of my personalities reports for duty at any given time. My thought: A bakery/coffee shop where I grow herbs and veggies outside (or on a rooftop garden) to supply my baking needs. Gardening AND cooking. And coffee. Must have coffee. Sounds like a winning combination. But it also sounds like tons of work and lots of hours away from my girls. And also, opening a business is extremely expensive and difficult. And the failure rate is unfortunate.

Such is my delimma.

Well, life could be worse...and I'm a lucky guy to have a great family to make me want to wake up to and come home to every single day. Maybe they'll give me the inspiration to figure this crap all out. until it's all sorted out, I'll just continue to take pictures that remind me of the simple beauties in life.

enjoy!

it's about that time!

This is truly my favorite time of the year. In a far corner at the back of my yard, a tiny spot of majenta has appeared. The Louisiana orchids are blooming. All across the city, bursts of green and various other colors are slowy popping up. I really enjoy seeing all of the plants coming to life, revealing their delicate foliage and flowers that have been bottled up for months. The cypress are lined with tiny chartreuse flecks, the live oaks are blanketing the city with a thin greenish-yellow film, the saucer magnolias & azaleas are FILLED with blooms.

It's a magical season and every year, I fall in love with nature all over again. Thanks for the inspiration God!

rested...and ready?

You ever wake up and think "is it tomorrow yet"? I had one of those mornings. Getting up to get ready for work, knowing full-well that this day is going to be H E L L. Waiting for *ahem* somebody to review something that should have been reviewed 2 weeks ago. Its due today. And I have 2 other deadlines today. Again, it's going to be a loverly day. Well, if *they* are not worried, then I shouldnt be, huh?

Anyhoo, last night we got 7 hours of uniterrupted sleep. These little oases in the desert of no sleep are like a tiny recharge. It's startling to wake up after sleeping for so long, and just wondering, but then all of a sudden, the dull grunt is heard over the speaker. She's fine. She was just wiped out from going to uncle coco's house, visiting with nana, papa, & aunt sasay. Also, the grocery store with daddy was exceptionally challenging...apparently.

little feet

There's nothing like picking up my little girl after a long day of work. Seeing that beautiful smile and those tiny little feet makes the day just melt away.

Every. Single. Time.


I can't wait for 5.

blah blah blah

Chatterbox. Motormouth. Mouth of the south. Just a few names have been used to describe me over the years. Ever since I can remember, I've just felt the indefatigable need to talk. Not necessarily about anything in particular. Something in my brain hates silence. It comes & goes from minute to minute, hour to hour. It actually just becomes a completely uncontrollable urge to speak. Weird.

And its not all the time either. Sometimes, I want to just sit there and not talk....just be in silence. Then when other people talk, it drives me NUTS.

People have asked me if it was that difficult to just be quiet. well...YES. yes it is. Sometimes anyway. I've been conscious about it all my life and try very hard not to talk too much. Sometimes, I'll realize that I've been talking too much, get aggravated with myself, and withdraw into my own little world. Then it's like a little pity party inside my head.

I think somewhere along the line, I became a really self-conscious person. The kind of person who obsesses over every single thing they do, say, even think. At times, it can be rather debilitating. Being with Lolly for these past 7 years has really helped me to realize that if somebody that amazing can love me for the overactive, chatty, downright annoying person that I can be, then there's no reason I should be so worried about myself. If it were really that bad then I wouldnt have so many friends and family around me. They complain to me at times about my babbling, but they're all still here, aren't they? That must count for something.

So I continue on down my road of talking...talking...talking. Filling the void of silence with abolutely random, uncomfortable, absurd things that probably shouldn't be said. Ever. To anyone. Maybe my new little outlet will help me to say them to myself, instead of others.