ok, I know that year is around here somewhere...

It's just completely perplexing.

One entire year...365 days gone. Well, 360 anyway. Five days to go until the bebe is 1 whole year. From what I understand they only pass more quickly. Thinking back to those early days, the first day up until about the fourth week, it seemed like parenthood would drag on for.ev.er.

Those are the toughest days...just getting used to the fact that you are no longer the center of your own world...or anyone esle's for that matter. You're now just a moon orbiting around this tiny little planet. This magnetic being that, for no explainable reason, you can't help but be drawn to. You love your spouse with all your heart and soul and think that this is the pinnacle of love. Then you meet this one tiny person and instantly that love is magnified beyond all that you've known before. It's almost intangible.

So here we are, frantically pulling things together for the first birthday party. The celebration of one year since we met the most special little girl in our lives. On our tiny little planet. This is the second Christmas too...although I'd hardly call last year her first one. She was merely in existence and didn't get the chance to experience it. This year will be MUCH different. She already looks longingly at the Christmas tree. Here's to hoping she doesn't pull it over...at least not until after Christmas. That reminds me...time to find some fishing string to tie the thing to the curtain rods nearby. That should do the trick eh?

Well, in any case, here are a few pictures highlighting the past year. Here's to many more wonderful years and waaaay to many pictures to come!

First week of December...just before baby

day one...welcome to the world little one

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

...and December!

productivity

This past weekend was actually productive.  I FINALLY finished the kitchen!!!!!!  This phase anyway.  Last time dad was in, we talked about doing all the new cabinets.  Whoa!  hold on a minute!  Hehehe...but he offered.  I'm going to measure the space up and dimension out what it is that we want in a kitchen full-o-cabinets.  The first things to go in will be the upper cabinets over the sink and then the wall unit that will replace the Caribbean style pantry that dad built.  Don't worry, I'm never getting rid of that work of art!  The lower cabinets will not be replaced until we can afford new counter tops.  Then, of course, we'll have beautiful black granite (or concrete) and it'll make sense to do the lower cabinets at the same time.  We'll also do the dishwasher at that time too since we'll be in the business of making massive messes.  Alliteration..see how I did that.  hehe

NEXT after that will be ripping the builder's stock crappy beige tiles out and replacing them with white oak.  That'll be costly, but worth it.  All of these splendid things will just have to wait in line.  The next step of this ongoing process of home renovations will be to remove the ancient concrete steps that have subsided and replace them with new wood ones that are easier to maintain and don't pose a tripping hazard.  That'll probably happen after the 1st of the year.  Then after that, we'll be doing the 1/2 bath / laundry room venture, which will be another project that just drags on...  I don't really mind though b/c if you get everything you want done at one time, you never have anything to look forward to, right?  

freezeframe

This weekend was by no means an amazing weekend.  But I didn't want it to end.  2 of the most special moments I think I will ever remember happened this weekend and it made me so thankful for the life that I've been given.  God blesses me daily and Lolly & Bebe are constant reminders of that.  

Saturday morning, we were cleaning up the house, doing laundry, fighting with the computer for being a stupid ancient piece of junk.  I finally got the iTunes to work, so I just cranked it way up.  Lolly was getting ready, so this was welcome.  She started dancing a little, then Bebe decided to get into the mix and shake her booty.  (side note:  I had no idea babies could have rhythm, but this chick most certainly does).  So i scooped her up, held her in my arms, and the 3 of us danced and did the tango for about 5 or so minutes.  The wee one laughed her head off the entire time.  It didn't last long at all, but those few blissful, care-free, smile-filled moments were amazing!  It was GREAT!

Then, last night after Lara left, we all laid on the couch while Bebe had a bottle.  After she had her bottle, mommy decided to tickle her until she turned red.  The squirts little uncontrollable laugh is contagious and just makes me happy.  I'm still picturing it in my head.  

I know how corny it all is, but these tiny little moments are what make the bad moments in life better.  I'm lucky to have the friends that I do.  You all are great!  And the family is just icing on the cake.

full steam ahead!

I've got renewed hutspa (sp???)! I've decided that now is the time to get all the little pieces of the kitchen DONE. Here's my list:

-steel wool and re-varnish all woodwork
-putty and paint cabinets that were re-worked
-finish crown molding - set nail heads, caulk, etc.
-caulk remaining cracks in bead board
-put final coat on walls
-repaint all kitchen trim, including bar
-varnish pass-through top
-replace hidden door hinges & catch
-repaint ceilings
-paint dining room


These are all things NOBODY notices when they come into the house, but it drives me berserk.
So I, Justin, do solemnly swear to finish this crap before the holidays get here! Otherwise, who knows when that'll happen huh?

chugga chugga chugga chugga

I was just reminded of the little engine that could from reading another blog. Kinda sounds like how I feel as of late. But I think I'm getting better at managing my utter distaste for this daily grind. Not that I'm contemplating staying here...cuz I'm not. Got it? Kthx. I tell myself daily that it's just this job. It's just right now. And it won't last forever. Not even close to forever.

I'm working on my artistic distractions daily, as well as my resume. I admire ctc for her steadfast hunger to mold and shape herself daily. It's inspiring and enticing my creative side to find its true outlet. Work in progress...I'll be posting something sometime soon...ish

design-y

Over the past few months, I've been toying with some graphic designs. OK, it's COMPLETELY not my forte'. But I get inspired by random things and create these images. Sometimes its photoshopery, sometimes, its just abstractions of basic images. Not works fo art by any stretch of the imagination. The images that I've done relate to nothing. Have no real use. I've toyed with the idea of printing on canvas and/or fabric. Not sure exactly how to go about doing so, but will figure it out if I decide to venture futher into this little sidebar. I actually sometimes spend quite a bit of time on my 5,000 year old laptop creating these little buggers. Maybe if I get a little confidence one day, I'll post one or two. Who knows. eh. Just felt like saying it out loud. Now go! GO! and enjoy this beautiful friday!

OK, I'm done. just done.

Yeah, you read that right. 2.5 years at this place...and I've finally reached that point. Nothing in particular, just the complete and utter lack of confidence in this job..and essentially this profession. I've toyed with the idea of not doing landscape almost since we were in school. Actually, I have been thinking about it since before graduation if we're being totally honest. Even though I've started the licensure process for validation, I'm not sure I need it or even want it anymore. Yes, I did give 6 years of my life to an education. And yes, I am willing to leave that behind. The fact of the matter is, in those 6 years of school I learned a lot more than just landscape. I've learned computer programs, presentation skills, general design principles, and many other organizational skills & people skills that I didn't necessarily have before. These things all give me the qualifications I need to work in many different professions, even though my degree is specialized.

I LOVE plants and I love being outside. I also love coastal restoration and jobs that have MEANING. I do not feel like working for/with measly residential clients or greedy commercial developers or useless governmental types looking to get their pet project funded (or not). I'm just tired of the day-to-day struggle of making anybody try to listen to us about how important landscape is for a project. It means nothing to me. I've been going through the motions for quite some time now, just getting by to try to provide for the girls. I'm done with that. I will provide for them. Just not here.

This place is just in a continual state of purgatory. As much as we try, there will never be enough improvement and stability for this place to ever be a long-term option. Not at all. That's why I'm on the lookout. I'm very grateful to have employment in this tough economic climate, but I'm unfulfilled and it's affecting my home life. I project my misery onto my girls and i WILL NOT let that continue. I want to be happy in all aspects of my life. At least content in the work aspect. That's not happening now...in fact it's getting worse. I cant fake happy anymore, so I've got my search glasses on. Be on the look out, will ya?